The Third Creed of Judas - for you to read

I’m sorry for my inattentiveness.

My lackadaisical beliefs I’ve spilled

And my lazy attempts to converse with you

My seemingly bored responses for the care for your well being

Only focused to feed my own self interest

It’s one of the traits that’s been passed in my bloodline.

You’re almost knocking on the black and golden door,

Begging for me to let you in.

So you can finally understand why I try to resent you

Which are my attempts to let you go so you don’t get hurt

But you don’t get it.

I want to show you the Dragon.

He’s hungry, and he’s ready to feast on your flesh.

The ghosts of my ancestors have haunted me

And dawned me as their new successor before I was born

They’ve molded me and raised me when I’ve been casted in the shadows

as well as pried into my skull, controlling my body as if it’s now theirs

I don’t know how I’m able to criticize,

and judge the souls around me on their worst mistakes

When mine will forever be the most inhumane

With the worst yet to come.

However, I’m scared of the chaos you’ll see

I don’t want to show you the demons that I’m chained to like a weight

That have tortured and brutalized me for their own pleasure

I know you’ll run,

and I don’t blame you.

They’ve scared away anyone that’s truly witnessed my cries for help.

I’m aware I don’t deserve you,

Yet I still try and still want to let you in

So you finally understand my internal cuts and bruises I’ve kept away

For the sake of you only viewing the smiling mask I’m wearing.