christmas time

what is a holiday?

the coldest winter can get,

the time passes without telling me to how to spend it.

growing up was always the same

even with my parents and my sister, I always found myself in solitary

walking around in a big, empty house with nowhere to be.

instead of a fireplace in a living room with a family,

I was inside a cold bedroom alone.

without the everlasting love from the ones who found you,

you struggle to find yourself.

and so without the attachment,

it’s hard to find a true attachment to share with others who enter your life

they’ll leave eventually, and you struggle to find peace with it

and then again, that same cycle repeats.

that’s when you realize there’s no true family to always have,

so then you’re stuck with an empty heart.

it hurts my heart thinking about it.

I envy seeing the other kids who seem happy,

wishing I could feel what they feel every year

the love they share together around a loving family

simple, but incredibly beautiful; a life truly worth living for.

one could have all the gifts in the world,

but none could be better than the gift of love you share with someone else.

when I accomplish that,

I’ll be the happiest I’ve ever been, knowing my soul is truly loved.

I don’t know, I think I just need a hug.