a summer reflection - midpoint

I don’t think I know why I’m trying to undergo the summer ambience ,

now more than ever.

Maybe because I’ll miss not utilizing the atmosphere more

Sitting on my roof, staring at the stars

Bonfires and a boat by next to the lake, although I didn’t swim in it much

Mosquito bites and being with people I’ve haven’t seen forever

Spending nights on my computer listening to new albums I wanted to experience.

Maybe I just wanted to do more due to the weight of responsibilities I took

Working 24 hours a week to distract myself,

I’ve never got to experience getting my driver’s license,

or putting the essence of summer in my self-proclaimed art.

Even how I left social media for a month to refresh myself

Creating a project that I wish more people liked.

I’ve spent it all with a Norse necklace, a Hawaiian bracelet,

and shades I got from a gas station for fifteen dollars.

Each day felt that same

When I was home, I would go to work, get drunk with my friends, and call my love

When I was over there, I would make music and then crash a grad party.

I’ve seen all the other kids and their days spent

I’m not much of a party person anymore, but I’ll admit I envy the freedom felt.

Here I am, sitting on a boat, scared of leaving this world once again

Conflicted on whether this is home or the other place is, 45 miles away.

I think it all ties down to my future. Scared I had the chance to unlock it in the heat,

or if I need to unlock it through the doorway.

Scared of not knowing which amplifies my magic more

A constant conflict of wanting the burning degrees of the summer,

yet the cold melancholy of the winter

Something I’ve seemed to miss now, and during then missed what I have here.

But now I’m walking through the door. I have to.

Will I regret these three months? Maybe when my own mind gets overbearing again.

But I think the days I spent stalling for time gave me the opportunity,

love, patience, and self-understanding

Something I so desperately lacked so long ago

But I know sooner or later I need to walk again.

The themes always remain the same, yet now in a different interpretation

New sights and melodies to be experienced,

a pit I need to fully recognize before I climb down

smelling maple and watching leaves fall in front of my face

Becoming this character better than he already was.

I’ll see you in this second half. You won’t want to miss it.