The Epilogue, Again - Dos Años Después

something about me is different now, again.

here we are, back again in the same circle; four more chapters to add

one told despair, one told recollection, one told silence, and the newest told rebirth.

hairstyles changed along with the clothing

the jewelry, from heavy gold, then pearl, until jade, and finally silver.

all the questions that have been finally answered,

ones including a lover, stage, and a college.

the art that still continued to progress, a force finding a new peak

the ears creating a melody, the mouth speaking the mind, the eyes behind a camera.

what returns is the woman who didn’t speak for five moons,

but as a result, a man who finally became a father

I still hold them in my heart, and thank them for being family after seventeen years

a girl who I have held for so long, memories that doubled experience

and finally, the hair kept growing, but it became tangled after being held back for so long.

I stumbled again; the knee fell before I let my own body collapse.

the voice of Lucifer tainted the smile, and then targeted the soul,

a failure to recognize myself, temptations dreadfully became impulses

until the self love, security, and confidence all finally bled out again

reverting back into the inconsistency, corruption, and insecurity.

I backpedaled so fast I almost came back to the beginning.

but what have I learned from it all?

the branches that were intertwined with the peers around me have snapped again,

and so did apart of myself for such a long time

but what is faith without rebuilding and breaking the chains again?

and now here I am. broken and not as happy as I was a year ago? sure.

but I lived, I learned, and I still managed to still feel the emotion,

even through there were so many cuts created throughout the time,

the scars will mark the endurance and growth that came as at least a positive result.

thank you to the people that still surround me, even after all the damage,

the angels that I love again, who decided to keep lifting me higher,

the devils that returned, who clawed me back to the ground,

all the ones who continue to comfort and hurt me again.

and thank you to myself, for finally deciding to pick yourself back up again

even after the most uncertain and polarizing times, the rest of the path will soon have my footprints.

maybe I no longer love myself the way I used to before,

but I am on my way to find that love again.

-aaron, 4.6.22