neutrality
rid the dark. replace it with light.
rid the gold. replace it with silver.
fall asleep during the night, and I’ve awakened during the dawn.
spent some time in hell, then knocking on the doors of heaven.
I cried on the frozen lake.
the snow caressing my tearful face
the earth guiding as my feet slid on the ice
the wind picked me up for judgement before igniting my body aflame,
the sun beamed with the coldest light as I walked across.
the two spirits separated themselves in my body
one of noir and the other of light
the hurricane tore them as they spent endless nights screaming
a transformation of suffering and uncertainty, choking my veins.
each time they yell at each other, I tend to mediate their arguments
demands in which I dissected their words into wisdom
and with that wisdom, I carried along the trail.
and now, the steps I’ve taken have cleared my way onto a familiar path
the oaken, pale forest where the light illuminates the birds above my head
the leaves colorless, yet breeze air into my face anew
and when my foot takes another step, I can feel the ground pulse for the first time.
yet the voices cry whenever I walk.
scared the arrowhead points in the wrong direction,
panicking in fear after bleeding out under the moonlight
arms covering their faces,
a reflex due to their natural environment of danger
but I tell them that the storm is gone now,
and then we keep walking while the candle still burns
a light guiding back home.
I feel I’m doing well, and I promise that is not reassurance.
a body now ready to lift the mountains,
although a mind confused in a passive environment
but nonetheless, a soul that knows it can almost finally rest.
I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t hate the reflection anymore.
the face of insecurity, unhappiness, and hatred has faded
replaced with understanding, tranquillity, and self love.
my arms has finally opened for the first time in too long,
a gate that allows others inside for the first time.
soon, I’ll be able to say I love myself again.
