Incense Candles by the Portrait - my final goodbye

three years ago, I wrote for the first time.

I was a boy about to take his own life, desperately needing to unravel a cluttered mind

and so the notepad and a small circle listened.

as the mind started to untangle, the artistry improved - the music went to symphonies, and the film when to cinema

while the black hair grew, before becoming cut.

but once the mind started to organize itself, and I found the culprits of the tangle,

I didn’t have much use for the pen anymore.

once the last thread becomes unknotted,

what more do you have to separate?

the chapters meant to show the metamorphosis on the teenage mind.

although everything in the past 3, especially in the past 1 year, has changed so much,

I still look back on where I can from - how the highs I have reached was wished by a child who was at the lowest

and now that I turned 18, and I’m about to blink again and turn 19,

I realize I’ve fully crossed the arch of adolescence, and all the madness from the beginning has found resolution

the metamorphosis has to end eventually, and I realize this is the conclusion.

however, because these chapters of my life are what built me to who I am now,

I hope they become the cement of my mind for the rest of my life

they all have taught me something new and honest,

and I reach a point where their principles are now autonomous, and will continue to progress me forward.

instead of carrying them externally, I will internalize them.

the three years taught me three centuries worth of wisdom,

and I feel I’ve collected every fruit to create a garden.

so, to my 10 chapters,

I will forever hold you close to my heart.

even in your ripe condition, I know you will never be forgotten.

thank you for everything you have taught me.

thank you.

thank you for reading everything I’ve wrote

my cries, my cheers, and everything in between.

thank you to everyone who I considered my familia,

whether it be from Chautauqua, Erie, Toronto, and New York,

my life will always in debt for how you all nurtured me, and I promise I’ll return too.

thank you for your patience and your support in reflecting me,

thank you for finding a way to reflect and understand yourselves in my work

thank you even if was to antagonize me in your own view, as long as you cared enough to read each line.

I love all of you. even if my exit means soon, later, or further.

I’ve appreciated every moment I spent united with you.

and now that I’ve finished my journey, I hope you continue yours;

make sure you find a way to love yourself and the world around you.

make sure you learn that you can forgive yourself.

make sure you climb to higher peaks than your mind can imagine.

put your life into chapters, and put yourself in the perspective to see how many steps you’ve climbed.

become greater than who you were after concluding one, and celebrate when a new one opens for you

because the person you are now cannot be the same person you will be in the future

and during my last breath,

whether it be tomorrow, when I’m in my 20’s, or when I’m an elder,

if I overdose after I reach success,

or on a deathbed of old age,

I hope these chapters will be passed down and remembered.

I hope these chapters invoke the metamorphosis of another

someone who seeks counsel to unravel their minds too

I hope they find it through all 179 poems I wrote in 3 suns.

most importantly, thank you, to myself,

for everything we reached after the end of these three years,

means we’ll travel farther than we could ever fathom during our lifetime,

before the true final chapter concludes.