I’m so fucking flown in space
When I’m back in the sky
Is it so difficult to bring me down?
While I stumble climbing the steps
a road that crumble at every break,
you hesitate to satisfy my mischief
at the same time, my blood feels
it boils and bursts
my cadaver a scarlet for your pleasure
put my mind at ease as
my mouth drys away, you took my breath
and I uneasily bring my life back
I thought about finding you.
But at the same time I haven’t been able
to find myself.
A coloratura that we spoke of on that
golden stage, its strangeness feeling
medieval. my fortune eye see a broken chair
god, I wish we could work.
but I know your mind moves nowhere
and so I sink further into the desert
every time I touch another sound particle,
I seem to absorb each memory we shared.
I regret them, but at the same time the bubbles had to burst in the air.
do you feast upon my misery?
was I always a feather puppet to you?
I really would kill for you.
And I’m terrified you have that
type of control.
15 eons coming back, and I know you
are speechless when you cause
my home to hellfire
unlock all my insecurities,
thicken it, thicken my stress and my doubt
I want to close my eyes and rest,
I still feel your gust haunt me.
Why am I so terrified?
You take me back to rains of my days,
Then flood them during my nights
Until I return back to this place of void
To God, I am Sorry.
To Chi-ran and June, I’m sorry I let you down as wrinkles formed on my face.
To Grape seeds that I just planted,
I’ll find someone to water you everyday
Until you get blown into another forester’s
garden.
this is it, but at the same time,
I wish my eyes would stop bleeding
because I see my speech backpedaling
to avoid your judgments when we dressed
in white and grey.
I’m choking further, the squeals sound
like a clock ticketing,
eventually, we’ll all get a bomb dropped
on is one day. you’re my alarm
should I enjoy myself in your world?
because I see no other purpose that to
break my neck for it.
god can only judge when I make space,
the one I seem to create out of my somber
for your abyss-to-oblivion falling mind.
I’m really sorry for your failure,
I knew I could never really speak
everytime I heard another cry from you for
my power can only be so strong
