Part 1: Dieciséis, Shíliù...

16.

16 is when I grew out my hair.

16 is when I drove for the first time.

16 is when I got my first job.

16 is when I bought my first album.

16 is when I messed up my sleep schedule. Twice.

16 is when I smoked weed and drank for the first time.

16 is when I learned more about my parents.

16 is when I locked myself in the studio.

16 is when I loved, then more than ever.

16 is when I cried from both tears of sorrow and of joy within two weeks.

16 is when I learned to love myself and the ones around me.

16 helped define who I am, and who I could be in the future.

Many nights this year I closed my eyes,

A lava lamp emitting a corner of the room,

shining brighter than the moon from my window

My earbuds were at full volume; Ribs by Lorde playing,

As the kick drum percussed, so did the memories, songs, and emotions

of the past era, playing in my mind’s cinema.

The moments that have flashed in front of me,

they haven’t always been of happiness, but some of melancholy

I had lost what I think the past me would’ve considered too much

A best friend, my love, and myself at one point

But the worst tears taught me the greatest lessons

And allowed me to cope with the shadows I never thought I’d view in the light

The brightest was signified by this.

I learned to love what I could love, and realize what I couldn’t

I allowed myself to be who I wanted to, someone of truth and content,

Never again having to please or answer to what the phantoms wanted

A crown I turned away for too long, now finally regained upon its honor

I cured myself with each step I took, painful or joyous.