a blunt message - thoughts that have been in my head for awhile

I’m scared of commitment

I’m scared of Erie

I don’t if I’ll ever see anyone again until when school starts again

Everyone says that we need to hang out, yet they don’t seem to care at all

I don’t know if I wanna leave my town just to see them anymore.

Last summer I would’ve sacrificed everything to go there

And now I thought I was at peace just by staying in home

But I don’t know if that’s healthy for me anymore

I’m scared I chose the wrong friends

Some of them have terrible ideals that I’m too scared to speak up in fear of losing them, and I‘m stressed that the people that I label as my best friend don’t even label me back

Why did I tell you that you’re my favorite?

You never truly talk to me, but only when you need something or want my attention

You said I could always talk to you, but you never answer my calls

Either that or you always say “same” whenever I try to talk to you

I always feel the need to get more friends because I’m scared the current ones don’t give a shit

I’m scared the girl I actually like is just leading me on

I’m torn apart of what I want and if I should deliver what other people want

I’m scared I’m not good enough, and I fear that I’m truly my own antagonist

I’m scared that others perceive me as the villain, and I’m even terrified that they’re also blind to see that I’m the villain